Without that special someone...

Well nearly a week ago, I read this article about a girl who was graduating but was not happy about it as her mum was not around to witness her graduating.

I too often used to and still do think to myself “Yes, what’s the use of me graduating with flying colours when the person who matters and would appreciate it most is no longer here”.

Well there is no denial that I miss my mum so much and no matter what I do I will never be able to see her again. I just wonder how my life will be if she were to be alive.Will I be in the same profession, will I be a more independent and confident person, will my lifestyle be different, will I be more peaceful, will I be more happy, would I have found someone, will I be able to be and more of will I be’s but one thing for sure I will be much better off.

No matter what its nothing and no one can be like your mum. I just miss her so much. When I used to be in the university and college I used to miss the fact that when ever I used to come back, there was no one who would greet me at the door and ask me how my day or week was, even until now no one does. I miss her so much. Even the way she speaks and smiles. She just understood every bit of me without me having to say a word. And now that she is not here I look at other people with their mums and think and dream of how my life would have been if she was alive. How exciting it would have been as I have now reached the stage in which parents would be a child’s best friend and I have lost mine long before. There are many things that I would want to tell her, there are many things that I am suffering from and can’t tell anyone ( besides my friends who I am going to loose soon). No one understands me at home. I am like an outcast……

There are so many things I would just want to tell her…many things that she suffered from once and I am suffering from now. The same things. Although my mum did tell me to talk to my dad about my problems….but how am I to do so when my dad has already got his fair share of family problems and health problems too…I don’t want to burden him even further…for now I will find solace in my friends…but in a few months time when they are all distances apart…I will be so lonely and just like my friends who will be waiting for the day to go back home and see their mum …so will I be waiting for my mum to take me home….

p/s: as usual and like I always say to all my friends out there….pls appreciate everyone while they are around in this world- cause once you loose them you will never be able to wake up from it…especially your parents, cause no one can mean and want more good things for you in this life than them.